到了明天

Honestly, if you don't want me around just tell me. Don't beat around the bush, don't give me subtle innuendo's.

Its hard trying to keep a smile on your face because, after nineteen years of hyper attitude, thats whats expected of you. Its hard because its your duty to keep everyone smiling, even when deep inside all you want to do is sit down in a corner, and just cry.

And then when you suddenly are given a hard smack in reality, that you'll never be chosen as someone's first choice, no matter what you try to do. I would never live up to what you want, never reach your expectations, never be that perfect person that you would look at with a smile, you would subconciously want to spend every minute of every second with.

There's only so much I can take. And then there comes a time when the smile I paste on my lips just can't stay on.

haphazard jigsaw!

For the life of me, I can't remember the order of things which had been happening in my life, even as I look through my pictures. So I'm just gonna chuck everything that I have taken pictures of for the past week haphazardly here and you make sense, okay?

MPAC dancing girls! Or I think thats what we're called anyway. We were asked to perform for Hostellite Night after our performance during CNS Week, so last.... omg I don't remember. But sometimes last week, we were at uni performing. The girls were awesome, although I wished we could've done the whole song. But due to time constraints, we only did a minute of the song.

McD dinner after Hostellite Night! Was so hungry that we all ran to McD like hungry savages after we finished the performance. Though as to why it was so jammed at ten at night, I have no idea. Do all these people not go home?!

and then I think somewhere in between Monday this week... Oh yeah! Pindapatt was on Sunday? I think? All pictures are with J, cause I was too lazy to bring my camera. But as usual, we helpers were starving while serving food again. But this year got a lot of little kiddies helping, so we could get off earlier to go eat. Heehee.

Went shopping with Mei Li on Monday! Its Mega Sale, and we needed new clothes anyway. I think I turned her in to a bit of a shoe addict, heehee. She bought like... two pairs of shoes, and gonna go back and get the rest she's got her eye on. A lil scary actually. xD

And then this week the madness starts! Have four assignments to hand in on 27th August. Yes, the same damn day. Four days before my birthday. Psh. But anyway! I plan to finish everything before the 26th anyway, because I'm going back to Penang on the 27th! Yes, family time finally. I can't wait.

Now I just have to finish journalism & media assignment by end of this week, and film assignment by mid-next week to make it back in time. Yes I'm chiong-ing, leave me be. /flails

the darker the chocolate!

You know, when you step in to try and teach a class a very, very, very, Very good lecturer had previously been teaching, you do not, DO NOT try and fill his shoes. Because their a pair of damn big shoes to fill. Don't make lame jokes when not needed, and don't say that there'll definitely be changes here and there. You're free to teach your way, but don't make it sound as if you're trying to do it better. Because no one can be better.

And you do not throw in idiotic suggestions like 'oh, can each student in the whole unit do a different reading?' because we know you like us to read, but no, you can't find 168 different readings for all of us. And then you say 'okay, each tutorial class can have their own reading reports, but they cannot interact with students of other tutorials'. Oh. Kay. Sure. I just won't talk to the rest of my friends for the next 3 months you think? Not to mention we all share the same lecture hall, I'd like to see how you do that.

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MPAC booth! We had the whole week last week remember, with our performances and all? Had lotsa late days. Actually, scratch that, everyday was a late day. But is fun! And is awesome, and I love it. :P After we closed the booth, we sorta ended up playing with the decorations. xP

BIG HEART. AH
House of love wtf. xD

I blow a heart kiss to you kay! xD

Leon is an awesome violinist. We just sorta hijacked his old violin to jakun around with. xD And no, we didn't sound the slightest bit like cats screaming. We sounded worst.x D

Random picnic-ish thingy? Cause we were all broke and initially intended to cook at home, but then forgot the shop was closed, so ended up ordering out pizza hut. NOT COUNTED AS PICNIC. I still want authentic picnic prz. xD

Don't ask me how, but it somehow ended up like this. xDDD Is darn cute though! So obvious which fingers the guys one. =.= *coughfatstubbycough*

Famous Amos! Sticky sweets! Hersheys! Spazztastic! Gonna need it tomorrow, since I'm only coming home at nine p.m. Somehow thats turning in to a norm for me. Is scary. Dx

busy bee once again!

Busy busy week! It all started with the meeting for CNS week we had on week 1 of Uni starting. But yes! Busy busy, fun fun fun! Slotted in ice cream time with Tommy, Mei Li and Cyren when we had to go get my wings for my costume. :P Look at how colorful the ice cream Mei Li eats! I feel diabetic just looking at it. Dx

And I hear people asking. Costume? What costume? Well, up there! Its CNS Week, and a few of us from MPAC are dressing up. In case you don't know, Lindley is Ariel, Cyren is Aladdin and Sarah's the Red Queen. Tommy's supposed to be James Bond, but his not in this picture, oddly.

Me?

I'm an angel! Quite literally too, if I may say so myself. *cooughcough* Anyway! Those wings we got from Pyramid, and the dress was my own. Or my sister in laws. Was supposed to return it to her 5 months ago, but... heh. Was really fun though!

Went for ice cream again on Wednesday after my performance! Yeah,w e were training the whole week to do a Broadway number and the dance from Run Devil Run. The video for Run Devil Run was off though, so not putting it up anywhere! But we got invited to perform for Socialite night, so wait for that? Heehee.

Yes! Ice Cream! For once, I didn't get my usual Strawberry Cheesecake. Instead, I tried Mango Tango and Yogurt! Mango Tango wasn't too bad, but Yogurt was awesome! I like sour-ish sweet things, apparently.

Okay, to the main point of this post.

MEET CLOUDY! Or Squishy, as I'm calling her now. Cause when I brought it back to uni, Sarah kept calling it Cotton Mutton, and Tommy was insisting on Mutton Rendang, and Mei Li was just going 'Squishyyy!" So now her name is officially Cotton Mutton Rendang Squishy Cloudy! And she is so very very squishy, no? xD

I love Ooi Jia Ying and Benjamin Wee, the most pwnsome people on earth. ♥

PS: oh god, looking at my calender now makes me feel like dying. There are more bolded numbers then there aren't. And thats not a good thing. Anyone help me for my radio journalism? Dx

oddball

I 'm not exactly your typical girl. Sure, I still like lavender purple, I like romance novels. I like cute fluffy thinks, and I have a penchant for pink. I even like soft romance songs and I hate metallica songs.

But unlike girls, I don't like wearing skirts. I hate heels, and I detest slow cars. I hate woman drivers who crawl along at 40kmph, and my dream car is either a Mazda Miata, Porsche 911 or a Honda RX8. I listen to Avenged Sevenfold occasionally, and Def Leppard is epic. I flail over pretty girls like SNSD and I actually am capable of fixing my own computer when it comes to basic things.

I don't go after guys shamelessly. In fact, I run the opposite direction like hell hounds are after me whenever I like a guy. Yes, whenever I see a guy I currently like I won't go up to talk to him, I'll run like no tomorrow. I'm weird that way. Its probably why I'll end up an old spinster with 15 dogs and a cat.

mermaid disney!

Weee! Practice, practice practice. That seems to be like, a mantra for me these days ever since meeting last week. Been dancing these days more then I've been dancing for the past few years, cause of CNS Week's performance. Though I really do enjoy it, cause I really miss it. But dancing for six hours a day and staying at uni till nine is really not my thing.

Last few days of practice though! The thing is next week. Just look at the state we left the Multi-Faith center within a couple of hours of us being there. Superbly messy. xD Its so comfy though!

Mermaid sighted in Monash University! She's kidnapped Aladdin from Princess Jasmine, whom ran away willingly cause he apparently has a fetish for fish!

Went to Euro Deli for dinner! Best place for meat lovers, period. I love their food here, and even if I was pretty full, I still managed to get in about... 1/3's of what I usually eat. Superbly good. Thats' their new challenge! Like those burger eating challenges. The normal price for the Matterhorn burger is RM88, but if you finish it within 45 minutes, you'll get it free! And a mystery gift too. Wanna try it? ^__^

Baked potato skin! Ultimate loves. Though the one in Souled Out is infinitely better. INFINITELY. I don't know why they took it off their menu, but I shall forever mourn that loss. T__T

Pork knuckle! Its a bit dry though, I don't really like it.

Pork belly! Another love, because its so soft and tender and juicy.

Three different sausages! Apparently, Euro Deli's most famous food. Though you know whats my favourite? THEIR MASH POTATO. It literally melts in your mouth, I swear. Its that good. ♥

Cream caramel for dessert! Is awesome sweetness, except for the whipped cream. Oddly, I don't like whipped cream. But the cream caramel is awesome! And tomorrow I shall has to go temple and then more practice. Aish. Oh well. IS FUN. ^__^

the end

The end of a life is always something that takes forever for my brain to process. It seems impossible to comprehend that I would never see that one person again, hear his or her voice, or see him or her talk and walk. I'm a type of person who would re-read my favourite books again and again, because its the experience I'm in it for, not the ending.

So when news of death comes to me, its always surreal. And I always rage about how the world is unfair. Why did they have to take my loved ones away? Its almost come to a point where I'm afraid of what the future would bring now. More loss, more pain, more heartache?

They took you away too early. Its always been a ritual for me to meet you at least once whenever I have business in Building 6. And you would always greet me with a smile, sir. Most of the time you would be holding a cup of coffee, or returning to the office. Between the lecturers, you and Chin Huat were the hardest to locate whenever we needed your assistance on assignments. So we would camp outside both of your doors, since they were conveniently located next to each other.

Today, we camped outside your door again. Hoping, so fervently that you would turn up. Its is a fat wish, but we looked, nonetheless. It feels so surreal, that time should go on without your presence. Your sarcasm, wit and charisma was legendary. You always had time to help us, no matter how tight your schedule was. And the way you spoke about your most passionate subject, always had us most enraptured. Why else do you think we spoke so little during tutorials? Not because we had nothing to say, but because we were so content to let you speak. Your joy and enthusiasm was infectious, and a marvel to watch.

And you were so proud of us too, whenever we did well on our assignments. The proud, satisfied smile you would give as you hand us a HD or D back on our assignments is probably why all of us work so hard to please you. You were one of the first lecturers I honestly looked up to, idolized, and loved. You had knowledge and wisdom, and you were never afraid to share them. I only had one semester with you, and that was enough to make me look forward to FTV, and even wonder if I should change one of my electives to independent film studies. The way you spoke about your senior subjects made everyone so curious to try it out.

But it looks like I'll never get to have another semester with your great presence.

Wouldn't it be great if I could hear your laugh now? That sarcasm dripping from your words as you reprimanded someone, or the way to rebuked a comment about a film that you felt particularly strongly about? The way your out-of-the-blue comments are so accurate, yet carry so much of your essence, it would never fail to make us laugh. I remember your comments on so many films, and so many other things. You were a force that was unlike any other, a personality unique above all else.

But the world had to take you away. Way too early. If we were given our choice, it would never be your time. Because everyone deserves a chance to know you. But we're not the one pulling the strings.

We'll remember you, thats forever true. You're the one that we'll always miss, never thought it would end like this. Benjamin McKay, greatly loved and sorely missed. May you be happy and well wherever you are, RIP.