Honestly, if you don't want me around just tell me. Don't beat around the bush, don't give me subtle innuendo's. Its hard trying to keep a smile on your face because, after nineteen years of hyper attitude, thats whats expected of you. Its hard because its your duty to keep everyone smiling, even when deep inside all you want to do is sit down in a corner, and just cry.
And then when you suddenly are given a hard smack in reality, that you'll never be chosen as someone's first choice, no matter what you try to do. I would never live up to what you want, never reach your expectations, never be that perfect person that you would look at with a smile, you would subconciously want to spend every minute of every second with.
There's only so much I can take. And then there comes a time when the smile I paste on my lips just can't stay on.
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